Day 4 – 5/8/2015

I have no comments at all for today’s paper. It’s Professional Practice, so I’ll leave that as it is.

(Just kidding. As much as I want to preserve and bitter-sweet memories about this paper, it’s late already and I kinda slacked off a bit with my free time after coming back home from the exam today. I’ll probably fill in the blanks tomorrow when I feel like it. Can’t study non-stop anyway.)

EDIT 12/8/15 – I really screwed up one question on ethics, which was about the admission of foreign lawyers. I knew I shouldn’t have done that question, but I was equally not confident about answering the other 2. Oh well, what’s done is done.

As I expected for Probate, the question would only touch upon ONE single sub-topic, which from my notes, is only one and a half pages long. Mutual wills. Goddammit, every other knowledge I had on Probate became utterly pointless the moment I saw the question focused on mutual wills. I literally laughed when I flipped the question paper over. Silently, but I did. It was absurd.

Land law was…eh…decent? I expected 340 to be missing and HD in its place, so I was going ‘sai lang’ on the charge and covenant topics. It wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t easy as well.

My only fear is that stoopid ethics question which I shouldn’t have done. I was really contemplating between that and other questions, and I chose wrongly this time. Just hoping it won’t come back and haunt me later on.

**

Something more relevant for me to talk about is the fact that there is one more paper to go! It’s almost midnight and I have done nothing at all to revise Evidence. Kinda regretting it a little bit, but I’ll do what I have to do tomorrow, ie another solid 10-12 hours of pouring over the evidence text book and writing out notes.

It feels like shit, but this will be the last time I’m doing this (at least for the current exams, not taking into consideration any possible re-sits). Praying upon my lucky stars that Evidence would be a better subject to cram in one day. Since PP just passed, I’m pretty positive anything else would feel better than this damned subject.

Here’s to the final countdown.

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Day 3 – 3/8/2015

5.41pm.

Today’s paper was…weird but alright. Naturally, looking at how the paper was set in July 2014, I had an uneasy feeling (when I was revising the topics of arrest, entry, search and seizure, and police investigation) that the said topics won’t appear as frequently as they used to. In a way, my hunch was right, but I never expected the paper to lean so much towards appeals to the Court of Appeal and the Federal Court.

And guess what? Those 2 areas are part of the ones I chose to touch less, because hey, a discussion on them would require one to know the ins and outs of the CJA 1964 and the RFC 1994, both statutes which are not available to us during the exams. Heck, I told myself if any such issues appear in any sub-question, I could just cite the statute in general and draw a comparison to the CPC.

Boy was I wrong. I mean sure, I could (and I did) cite the CPC all the way in lieu of using the actual authorities, but goddamn it if the question doesn’t require me to know it all. I did what I do best, and rojak my way through.

Add a little bit of bail here, and a little bit of summary trial there, I’m hopeful that I can cook up that 40 marks needed. At this point, I’m just looking forward to the other 2 papers to end this misery.

I came back, had lunch, took a nap and was wasting some time catching up on the recent KCON in LA. Didn’t expect so many pics and fancams to be up, but hey I’m not complaining. Thankfully AOA only appeared on the second day, else I wouldn’t be able to backtrack all the goodies even till now. Thought I’d make a short update before I force myself away from my computer and onto my books for the second last time. I’m still feeling a hefty mix of exhaustion and laziness to be frank, and I really want to get these gears moving because I know the Professional Paper is gonna be bulky as heck. But seeing the trend of the last 3 papers, I really don’t know if the effort going into revising everything would even matter in relation to what is tested in the exams.

Time will tell.

Day 2.5 – 2/8/2015

Hello, hello. It’s August! Guess what that means? Yea, the countdown is real.

Like I said before, the coming 3 papers are one hell of a bulk, but at this rate, I’m really trying my best to focus on my books, and it’s not working as effectively as I had wanted. Hence the reason I am here.

Sometimes I get all excited and liberated thinking about the post-exam freedom, but that is easily dampened with the fact that it’s short-lived. As I’ve mentioned, once results are released, which should be about September, I either have to proceed with finding a place to intern, or I’d have to resume a little bit of studying for any paper, should I have failed one of them. That’s like a month away after exams are done with. Not really long to be honest.

With all that said, I definitely have plans to change my lifestyle (gradually) once this is over. I can’t go on doing what I’m currently doing especially when I have my career to fit into my routine soon. A packed and busy life is one worth living, not one where I sit my ass at home doing whatever I please. Doing productive things, may it be self-improvements or getting actual work done for other reasons feel good, and I should probably learn to derive more joy that comes with hardwork, rather than getting all my endorphins from lazy activities.

Ironically, I’m feeling demotivated to resume revision for tomorrow’s paper. But it’ll come, it’ll come. It always does.

Day 2 – 30/7/2015

Boom! Anndd we’re here! Gosh was it that fast? I reached home at about 3pm, watched some Dota, played some CS, surfed reddit and Youtube. Now it’s 9.45pm. So yea, pretty fast to be honest.

Oh, General Paper. I’m not sure whether to thank you for making me feel better, or to condemn you for having so many issues that I couldn’t finish in time AGAIN. For Tort, I was so worried about any possible estate and/or dependancy claims and guess what? NONE of them came out. Zilch. Just a guy getting knocked by a motorcycle (not even a car, can you believe that?) and having a personal injury claim against the D. Fun? Yes. Worth the cramming I did the night before? Abso-freaking-lutely no.

It’s not as bad as Civil Procedure though, that’s a fair statement I can make. At least for today’s paper, I had something to damn well write! The only reason I couldn’t finish my final statement of claim (for Contract) in time was basically just that; there was no time. I committed the same sin that tens of thousands of people had committed before me, which is spending too much time on Tort. I can’t help it, after reading both the Tort and the Contract question in the 20 minutes given to us as reading time, I swore upon the high heavens to vomit out all the Tort knowledge I had pent up inside me, like having a full bladder and you’re literally sprinting to the toilet, because the issues are that many. I couldn’t spot the Contract issue at the first glance, so I anticipated that I’ll get stuck for a while when attempting that question. Which is true to a certain extent. I had 1 hour and 10 minutes left when I finally turned the page away from Tort and started dissecting the Contract question.

I pretty much surprised myself with my amazingly innate ability to speed read like never before. The length of the question is one worthy of damnation, having to go through 1 SPA, 1 written letter and 3 separate chunks of paragraphs trying to explain to us the situation. By the time I’m done with extracting the relevent info for my answers, I was left with a merciless hour to complete 3 questions. I wielded my pen, wrote “Q.1(a)” and let it fly.

By the time I came to the statement of claim, I had 10 minutes left. TEN. SIX HUNDRED SECONDS. I was metaphorically shitting my pants, but I did all I could in that time frame. And when I passed the paper to the invigilators, I was more than satisfied. Not that I had done well, but satisfied that it was over. Another target down.

But I know the true nightmare begins here. 3 subjects in the following week with 3 days to prep ourselves. It’s pretty much a given that Sunday would be fully spent doing Criminal Law, so I’ll see how I’ll segregate my study material for Friday and Saturday.

As for today, I had wanted to do some light reading, but I guess it’s a bit too late for that. 10pm is here and really, I’d rather spend the remaining time today fully flushing out the stress inside.

Here’s to one more week of anxiety attacks, butterflies and moths, and sleepless nights. I’ll keep things posted, for my own benefits and sanity.

Day 1 – 28/7/2015

Where do I even begin? Day 1 of my nightmare just passed, and I’m anything but satisfied about how I did the paper. The amount of sub-questions I left blank, and the lack of authorities in my answers, oh God.

My papers last year technically had more weight considering the circumstances, because the results would determine whether or not I’m actually qualified to continue down the path to practice. I recalled the back-2-back papers for EU Law and Jurisprudence, which was definitely not a pleasant thing to face at all. At that time, for the first time in my life, I actually considered staying up for the night just to cram Jurisprudential stuffs into my poor head, and this consideration took place not even 6 hours after the EU Law paper.

While the suffering I went through worrying about how I could flush out one subject from my head in preparation for the other was considerably hellish, it was comforted by the fact that I actually felt alright after I stepped out of the exam hall. I wrote all I could, finished everything in the nick of time and handed up the paper knowing that there’s at least 4 full-fledged answers for the examiner to mark. There was light at the end of the infested tunnel.

This however, is whole new event which took a great emotional toll on me, especially the evening after the paper. My insides didn’t feel good, my mood was destroyed and all I could do was put on some D2 video stream, turn down the volume to the point where the commentaries were slightly audible and lie down on my bed staring into the ceiling. I eventually fell asleep, contrary to what I had intended to do, but really I just lost all physical control on my body. The nap didn’t improve things at all. The butterflies in my stomach were still there and yea, I just didn’t know what to do but to live through the day, waiting for the next paper.

The feeling that overwhelmed me was that I’m actually resigning to the fact that I may have failed the paper. It was a darn shitty feeling because firstly, civil procedure is one of my most disliked subjects, and the thought of having to read it again for the resit in October/November is just agitating, nerve-wrecking to say the least.

Which leads to my second qualm. In all honesty, I just want to get the CLP over and done with. It has been my goal since I finished my degree, but now when the flags are raised and the troops had marched to the battlefield, I was hit smack in the face that the war may not be going in my favour this time. So I began to assess my options.

#1 – I miraculously pass my civil paper and hopefully the rest of them as well, I go on to get my cert and be done with studies for good.

#2 – I fail the civil paper and I have to resit it in Oct/Nov. Shitty, but I’ll do what I must.

#3 – If, touch wood, I fail more than 1 paper, I’ll be given the option to either retake the entire exam July next year, or raise the white flag and call it quits.

Now #3 freaked me out the most, because I literally do not want to be stuck in this limbo where I’m at the age to work and gain experience but things like examinations and qualifications are still holding me back. I don’t know if I am willing to commit 1 entire year again to sit for the CLP. Well, I could but I will definitely feel like shit for the entire year. So I considered that if this would be the outcome, maybe I’ll retake the CLP while working. Hmm…not a good idea either. Time management is my bane, and if I don’t learn how to properly manage my priorities, doing that would be voluntary suicide, figuratively speaking.

I’m in the process of regaining my composure and shoot for #2 at the very least. I couldn’t concentrate on my books at all yesterday, and I had to talk to someone about it. Thankfully, things felt better after unleashing my worries onto my brother and my old man. Aftermath? Just do it.

Worrying and going apeshit isn’t gonna change the fact that I had submitted the paper for grading. Somewhere inside I may feel that it is pointless to go on further when I had screwed up the first paper, but I am convincing myself that life has it’s own ways to surprise me. Just do what needs to be done, and enjoy the holidays after that.

The only other thing that is worrying me is the cramming that is needed to be done especially for the coming subjects in the second week. It’s tiring, and it’s taxing on my mental health. My next paper is tomorrow and so far, I hope the information is being retained in my head. I had to take a break and type this out, in hopes that I’ll feel less stressed after this, which seems to be working thus far.

I’ll technically have a 3-days break after tomorrow, which is not much really, but it’s better than having this week’s paper ending on a Friday. I might take the day tomorrow after my paper to release these butterflies and prep myself for the final week, but we’ll see how the paper goes. Fingers crossed.

*****

Dammit, I never had so much nerves and anxiety before a major exam before. I don’t know what the trigger is, but I’m guessing it’s the bulk of the subject matter, the importance of the paper, and the feeling that I could have done better. These 3 elements do NOT mix well together. But I’m here and I can’t run away. Just do it.