I guess this is it. The pinnacle of my figmented imagination, the materialisation of my innermost projection of reality before me. I’ve finally reached the crossroads I equally yearned and dreaded throughout the years when I was still a college student. The step into the real life.
I’m not ready, and I doubt I’ll be anytime soon. Some things are just laid down in front of me without my express validation, and those are the obstacles I’ll have to put up with while I wait for my results. I don’t know what to expect from tomorrow’s interview, probably because a part of me wants to secure a job and have a stepping stone, while the other part of me doesn’t want to because I have yet to do my research regarding what I like to do, where, and how I’d like to do it. I know being picky is not a good trait to have when finding for a first job, but I still believe people have the right to choose which path they wish to traverse at the crossroads. Being picky is insisting that you drive a limo down a lane instead of walking. Not for me, I just wish to choose the path I walk, and I don’t mind walking on my way there.
The thing is, there’s still some things in my life which remain incomplete. Things which I’m worried I will no longer have the time nor the opportunity to attend to once my work begins. And this worries me. I really don’t know how this aspect of my life will turn out in the next 5 years, and I’m just hoping that it will eventually find its way because right now I’m just totally lost as to what I should or can do to help improve the situation.
Life goes on regardless, and I’ll just have to accept what comes and what doesn’t. Though sometimes the feeling is occasionally killing me, I’ve been living like this for all my life. What’s a few more years of waiting?
I hear some words being uttered, every now and then, one too many times. I started to think that it really loses its meaning once you know the reality behind things. I can’t speak for others, but I know the weight that is on those words because that’s just how it is. It’s easy to say something that you just know in reality, it doesn’t apply in totality. So what meaning do those words even have anymore when a week or a month down the line things will go back to square one? What’s with all this pretentious bullshit?
Some things can be so obvious to the point of annoyance, and knowing there’s nothing you can do about it isn’t going to improve things. All I can say is, good luck with such an attitude, and I wish you all the best.