You can say that you have read 3 books and still nothing enters your brain because the syllabus is too bulky, and I still don’t give a shit. Now just get off the computer and continue studying if it’s really so hard for you.

The irony of people out there.

The items are:

- The Boys Repackaged Album: Mr. Taxi

- SM Winter Album 2011

So I got a Jessica photocard from the Mr. Taxi album, which isn’t much of a surprise actually. I consider myself lucky to be able to get her, looking at the fact that I never had any luck with photocards. Getting Tiffany/Yoona/Taeyeon is just beyond reasonable expectations, that’s why I told myself not to even expect a YoonTaeNy card from any albums that I bought.

The Mr. Taxi album was slightly damaged. The hard plastic casing where the disc is stored has a roughly 5cm crack at the top left side of it, but I couldn’t bother to complain. Malaysian shipping quality is always like this, and a decent amount of goods that I own do indeed have dents/cracks/flaws thanks to the shipping. So it’s a normal thing already for me.

The SM Town Winter Album was beautiful though. The photobook attached to it is stunning, contains pictures of all the artists under SME, and the quality is not too bad. CD looks beautiful too. There are actually 2 versions of the winter album, golden cover and silver cover, and I had to debate with myself for nearly a week to not buy both of them and only get the golden one.

Speaking of debating, the ‘rationale’ part of me had decided to step to the front and stop the nonsense that my ‘less rationale’ part was doing. Remembered when I said I needed to decide whether to get Deeryoona or Stephi’s photobook? I decided not to get any of them. Deeryoona’s order deadline is today, and I’m forcefully resisting the impulse to go to their website and place an order, which I WILL succeed. A part of me still agrees that fanmade goods aren’t that all ‘rare’ after all. It’s just that they did go through the trouble of taking huge amounts of awesome pictures, and they are just selling those pictures to us. That’s all.

I might get them in the future if the opportunity ever arises again, and I’m at a position where I don’t have to contemplate like what I’m doing now. For now, enough is enough.

TangPa is merely an exception, due to 2 reasons. One, I was treated to it, so I’ll assume that it’s a gift, and two, Taeyeon is (more or less) still my main bias, so I wouldn’t mind getting something from her fansite, since all proceedings will go towards supporting her birthday this coming March 3. I said more or less because, like I mentioned, Yoona and Tiffany are really ruining my bias list like scrambled eggs, but while I’m contemplating where they stand, Taeyeon remains on top. I guess it’s because it’s not in whole her overall goddess-like beauty that makes me like her, more to her personality, the things she had done as a leader and as the oldest member in the group, and the way she thinks. It is common that many people would think we are so indulged into SNSD all for the fact that they are stunningly beautiful and doll-like, and I don’t blame you for thinking so. It is, indeed, more than that, but I won’t elaborate much here because probably none of you would know what I’ll be talking about. It doesn’t matter that she might no longer be the kid leader from 2009/2010, or she had lost her child-like looks, she’s still Kim Taeyeon.

Anyway, the only merchandise left that I want to get now is the official 2012 calender. I’ll probably wait until April/May before I get it (after my exams supposedly). Hopefully the price  would reduce by then.

I guess the picture says it all.

That’s how other people look at us.

That’s how we are being thought of.

Weirdos.

Possibly more.

But we’re used to it.

We can choose to ignore it.

And it’s all due to the fact that,

You have no idea at all.

Anyway, it’s good that the first 2 months of 2012 isn’t killing us already, but unfortunately for me, I got struck with this fever called the photobook fever. Yes, amazing photobooks that are made personally by fansite admins. I’ve seen some samples of previous works and they are really, really awesome, and suddenly out of nowhere, I got this stupid urge inside of me to get them. I knew about them mid 2011 to late, but I didn’t really bothered to give them a look. Probably because I was already puking more than enough to get hold of the albums and other official goods that came out since 2007, and I didn’t have the capability to fork out more to get more current, unofficial goods. But it was fun seeing all the rage tweets on twitter from many people who had trouble deciding whether or not to buy them. Golden rule for sones; complain like hell, and end up buying it anyway. That’s how we work.

And now, the Soshi deprivation strikes again. A simple trigger just started it, and now I’m on the roll of hunting the photobooks that I missed the previous year. Pathetic right? Yea, I know.

Luckily for me, a friend of mine has a FB shop which sold Limyoona’s and Shining Smile’s photobook from 2011, NO DEADLINE. I take that to mean that she has a ready stock, thankfully. So I can slowly make a mountain out of these small handful of dirt I’m slowly collecting.

By the way, I currently only looking for photobooks of Yoona, Taeyeon and maybe Tiffany. Call me bias, but yea, unless I was born with a diamond spoon, as much as I want to support all of them, I have to leave out some sooner or later. I initially wanted to go for YoonTae’s only, but I swear Tiffany is always the one to suddenly comes and messes up my whole bias list.

Anyway LOST OF THANKS to someone that I now already have TangPa’s DVD and Photobook coming to my doorstep around mid-April. I really, really, really appreciate it! Can’t express my glee in words, except that I’m so awfully grateful!

For notes, TangPa is like the head admin of the Taeyeon fansites, although I have to admit Flying Petals take more nose-bleeding pictures, but then again I already missed out on the deadline to order Flying Petals’ book, and also Merong’s (another Taeyeon sub-fansite) so screw that. I just have to hope my friend would be able to find supply for those books in the future.

Current headache is that another Yoona and Tiffany fansite, Deeryoona and Stephi are now taking orders for their new photobooks (1 each) and to be really frank, I can only afford to get one, and not the other.

After 30 minutes of debating with myself, I figured that the 4 old books can wait, 2 of which I have a high chance of still getting because there’s no limited deadline, and another 2 (Merong and Flying Petals) I would just have to wait and see if my friend could get the stock once the first batch has been shipped out.

I’ll just have to choose between Tiffany or Yoona now…not an easy choice to be really honest…

#lifeofasone

I’m always amused by how competitive some of my course mates are, and some even went to the degree of judging others based on their level of knowledge. Erm, just to remind you, you’re not here to measure who is smarter. We are all here to get a law degree, that is all. You achieve nothing by proving that you are smarter than anyone.

Yea I get it. I’m anti-social, I’m arrogant(?), I’m unfriendly, I’m lame and my knowledge is not worth enough to blend in. All that is just summarized into one fact:

You don’t even understand a tenth of who I am.

And before you get your pants wet, I’m not saying that oh I’m actually a smart-ass, I’m actually intellectual and wise. Please, I’m nowhere near that. But the fact that I’m being seen as something I’m not in your eyes, gives me enough hint that I’m not worth as your friend, and neither are you. I tried to be different, I tried to change, be a bit more friendly and interactive than my normal self, and what happens? I suddenly became a fake.

I don’t know what is it that you want, but I couldn’t care any more. If I have to walk through this path by myself, only depending on myself, than so be it. This isn’t the first time I’m going through things on my own. I have always been independent and I will.

I’m contended enough that I already have friends who understands my behaviour, why I act as such at certain times, and why I don’t. I don’t like being 2 different Eric(s) when I mix with 2 different groups. I am who I am.

And if by any means I am factually incorrect about anything that I said, by all means correct me. I have this habit of assuming, so forgive me but I’m pretty sure my eyes and ears don’t lie to me. If I’m wrong, feel free to look at me as an ass.

****

So my revision starts this week onwards. I’m actually looking forward to these 8 weeks, it’s gonna be a roller-coaster ride, but it’ll be worth it.

Ain’t gonna waste any more time. Signing off.

Somehow it doesn’t feel like they were right in front of me, or maybe I just can’t believe it. I think the fact that I rarely got any eye contact makes things a bit, how do I say this… different. I was there, just watching them perform and strolling along the stage, like how I have always seen on videos. The only difference is that I’m not seeing it through a computer screen, but from my own eyes. They were so clear, so real, so near, but I still feel that something is…missing.

I know that it’s random that I suddenly thought about something 3 months ago, but it was because I was watching fancams from their Bangkok and Hong Kong concert, and my feelings just came gushing down like a waterfall. Withdrawal symptoms, they call it.

Then I realised that my blog post about my SG trip was posted in another blog, and I went to give it another read, and I regretted it, because it made me relive the moments of the concert and at the same time made me feel sad again.

Those moments that made me hold my breath without knowing it, making my heart skip 2 beats, and my eyes and jaw just opening with awe, those feelings are like drugs, you know that? I don’t mean it in a negative manner, like I’m some addict or something.

It triggers dopamine, put it that way.

1. That 5 seconds when Sooyoung looked at me, returning back the heart shape that I formed with my hands, and just smiling at me, thinking about it now just makes me feel embarrassed like crap. I wonder how stupid my face looked when I was just looking at her like a stone at the time she was smiling back at me.

Spoiler note: SNSD is very well known of their ability to recognize their fans, I don’t know how the heck do they do that, but they DO recognize their fans even though by just meeting or seeing them once. I just couldn’t imagine where to hide myself if she remembers my retarded, stunned-looking, face.

That was one of the memories that convinced me, everything was good and real.

As near as I was to the main stage, not many of them really looked towards our moshpit. One reason being that the spotlight was just right in front of us, and it would probably blind them just to look towards our direction. The recording camera was also there, so I guess they were trying their best not to be filmed in a totally right angle.

2. Another moment was when the dome opened. The intro. It was beyond epic. I was just in brain-freeze mode when the dome started to open. Since I was looking at a slightly upward angle, I couldn’t see them inside the dome like how other people in the terrace zones could, but that’s what made it special. Slowly, one of the sides of the dome unfolded itself and the moment I spotted Taeyeon’s hair (she was sitting at the topmost of the pyramid for Genie) I just lost it. Before that I was screaming and cheering and waving my light-stick, but when I saw them for the very FIRST time, in front of my eyes, I just went blank. I never experienced it in the 19 years I lived. Never. I just stood frozen there.

They were unreal, so unreal.

To be really honest, I had felt some tears starting to make its way out from my eyes when Genie started and Taeyeon was just standing right at the front-center of the stage, just metres away. She was really, really, really, really, REALLY small in person, unlike how she looked in videos. But despite all that, she was as close to a goddess as can be. I couldn’t comprehend whether such a beauty actually existed in this world. Her complexion is so fair, so white, so smooth…like taufu. Ok I know I’m beginning to sound creepy to normal people, so I shall just stop here.

Here I am, sitting down and re-imagining all the performances, all the moments, all the awesomeness that I experienced, and I still cannot put it all down in words.

I would do it, I would go again, to their concert, if the place is convenient and time permits. If it is in Malaysia, it would be even better, not only because it’s easy to travel and near, but other factors too.

*

Put it this way, if they do come to Malaysia, I could maybe, JUST maybe, be given the opportunity to discover the answer myself, as to whether or not the 9 of them really do recognize their fans.

“Balls in your court. Whaddaya think?”

First of all, I’ll address the most ridiculous issue that I couldn’t even imagine would surface in the first place. Whoever that has even the SLIGHTEST bit of assurance to say that the left-most girl is Tiffany aka Stephanie Hwang Mi-Young, please find the nearest wall available and bang your head a couple of times. You either didn’t have the initiative to do some research before opening your mouths or your mouth probably just works faster than your brains. That girl over there is Heo Chanmi, and the reason she was not chosen to debut in SNSD remains a question to me. You can Google her up if you choose not to give a rat’s ass about what I said.

As how it always is for other groups as well, revisions and reshuffling of groups are normal during the pre-debut period. If you’re not familiar with the workings of the Korean music entertainment industry, I suggest that now is a right time to shut something of yours that is opening itself one too many times.

I find it hilarious how the issue of plastic surgery is only a very hot and debatable topic in Korea. I don’t see western fans bashing on other artists just because they have so-called ‘fake beauty’, not to mention that if they DO go through plastic surgeries, the focus is more towards their body, busts, and anything else that can boost their sex appeal. Angelina Jolie, a decade ago, was a beauty, but now she is just plain scary. Do I care? I guess not, because it didn’t matter. She did wonders in the filming industry, produced good movies, showed the world her love and charity when she adopted kids to take care of, contributing millions of dollars throught the Jolie-Pitt Foundation, and countless more. The fact that she’s one ugly hag now without makeup doesn’t change how much I respect the things she has done. I don’t see how plastic surgery can seem to stop and prohibit the things you seek to do in this world.

If, for your arguments’ sake, IF SNSD had gone through plastic surgery, a simple one question I would want to ask from you is;

“And?”

Ok, so presuming they had plastic surgery to make their faces look more appealing to the common public. Does that stop them from contributing to the Red Cross & UNICEF ‘Together For Africa’ Charity Event in August last year? Does this change the fact that they donated some fund to aid a Cambodian girl called Selaili in her surgery to recover from heart disease? Does all the plasticity stops Sooyoung from giving financial aid to the Japan Relief Fund? They even donated their clothes from their official music video raise money for needy children around the world.

My point being is that most of you haters out there are blatantly trying to dig out any precious remnants of flaws you can find from SNSD and use it to bring them down and calling their fans blind and delusional to be falling into the fake, plastic traps of SNSD. Not to disappoint you, but a handful SNSD’s fans can pick out more flaws from SNSD than all of you critics combined together.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. If you can’t seem to comprehend that simple basis of life, then you are far off from even trying to be a professional critic. I find it ridiculous that you are judging them based on their looks and the slightest bit of evidence you can pick out to prove that they did go under the knife.

If they even HAD gone through plastic surgery, Korean medias would already be making tonnes of profit publicising this hot news throughout Korea, since they know how much the issue of plastic surgery has an impact on the hallyu wave. All these while, only antis and haters have been trying to make mountains out of molehills.

If you can’t take the initiative to see the light in things, and just proceed to bash and hate all for the fact that they are famous for ‘no apparent reason’ or they seem to cuddle too close to your male idols once in a while, then God bless your soul. May you one day be freed from hate and anger being vented towards a group of 9 girls who have nothing in relation at all to your life.

And to those who seeks to continue trying, you’re more than welcomed. If music awards, real natural beauty, and hard-rock abs ontained from hours and hours of workouts in the gym are all you look for in idols, go ahead. You’re probably just missing out. Missing out from the fact that idols do more than just sing and show off their sex appeals for your desires. The fact that most of the idols out there have purer hearts than at the very least, you. The fact that they do their best to portray themselves as people we look up to and respect for the things they have done to their society and their nation and a symbol of Korea.

SNSD in 2005/2006/2007 or SNSD in 2012, do you really think it matters to me? That it matters to most people with a rationale brain out there? And I’m not just talking about Sones, mind you. I’m including people who are even not in the K-pop world, who have the sense not to care about things that don’t even affect them or bother them. For us who are in it, SNSD will be a group we will always respect and look up to, whether in 2007 or 2012, because we had enough sense to learn and see the positive side of things over the past 4 years or more, instead of letting your own personal woes blind your judgement and spread hate in your hearts.

If the only reason you hate on them is because they are plastic (so to speak), then you’re obviously not trying hard enough to even see for yourself what is going on in your brain. If you hate them for their lack of talent and sincerity, then you probably haven’t cared enough to observe the things that they have done with your own eyes. And this not only applies to SNSD, but to all K-pop idols out there.

Personal note:

Keep on trying. I personally don’t care if you are probably sitting there, thinking that I have lost it and are just talking marbles. It’s just a simple fact that you fail to realise that life is not all about you, what you experience and how you see it. There are many other aspects of life, lived through by millions of other people that you probably have not seen, which is not a surprise at all because you probably don’t care in the first place. That is the logic that keeps everyone in this world alive. 2 seperate ends of the world, and yet we all can still live. If you’re so close minded to think that life revolves around what you see and know, and everything else falls under abnormality or sometimes you would call it, madness, then think again. All I can say is, you will make an absolutely good judge. Judging other people based on things you’re probably even unsure of, because that’s all that you’re good at.

As I said, keep on trying.

- Eric -

Mr Onion, I’m just after some honesty in this post. You said that “anyone can do what you do and reap benefits” like being offered invited to major K-Pop events. BUT I seriously doubt that a Korean who simply happens to blog about SNSD can get to experience all the following:

“Press con, photo call, executive box, mosh pit, executive box, then SONE section, meal with UKiss, backstage at Grand, being the only non-employee in the building, meet/talk with 2PM and SNSD + sign.”

I mean, you practically lived out the entirety of a K-Pop fan’s dream in a stretch of a couple of days, and all because you’re a SNSD/K-Pop blogger?

I find that very hard to believe. Not to call you a liar, because I have great respect for the credibility of your words, but to say “anyone can do what you do and reap benefits” isn’t 100% accurate, is it? There’s obviously something you’re not telling us in terms of your background. I gathered this much from one of your tweets: “lol thank you father for being my father ^^ Sorry father, for using our family name to fanboy >.<”

Even before you tweeted that, I was already thinking in my mind (since your fan acc tweets came before that) that Oniontaker has got to be the son of some Chaebol if he’s riding it up with KBS execs in the VIP section, and not just any plain K-Pop blogger. I mean, for a given popular blogger, the MOST I’d expect is an invitation to the event itself if he’s lucky, but you just went all out and got access to just about everything (except Taeyeon’s bed haha ^^) Your parents must be some BIG TIME people.

I’m not asking you to (fully) disclose yourself, but just an honest reply to your previous statement [“anyone can do what you do and reap benefits”], that if asked again, would this statement hold true?

I hope you can give a GENUINE answer to your readers and I, because there are a lot of hopefuls doing the same things as you and hopes to experience the same things as you…knowing fully that you don’t have to be son/daughter of some Chaebol. I simply just want some closure.

Answer to that question:

Let me start by introducing myself.
Hello. My name is John.
I have always kept oniontaker apart from myself.

So firstly when I made the statement, “anyone can do what I do”, this was before I even knew that I was going to Paris; I made the final decision to go to Music Bank maybe two days before I left my house. At that point, being able to talk to certain celebrities, having access to certain things, being friendly with people in high places in the fandom all came from things I had worked on.

Being nice to some people, demonstrating diligence and being proactive in what I did was enough to let me come to a position where “oniontaker” (not John) could have a line of communication with Taeyeon. Someone somewhere noticed me and gave me that opportunity, trusting me with that responsibility, knowing that I would remain respectful and discreet.

I have had the privilege of working with some incredible people online. People who are more capable, more intelligent, more kind-hearted and more skilled than I. They have even given me numbers and contact details to people in the industry because they know I can get things done for them, or they think I should know this or that person. This all comes from a trust people built in this faceless creation, just a name “oniontaker”.

All of these things, any Kate, Park, Kim or another John could have done. oniontaker could be anyone. In fact, there are people who achieve far more than oniontaker: look at Soy as a great example.

So in the end, having this many people supporting you, and more importantly having a level of dependability to the point where you are trusted with a direct line of communication with Taeyeon… this is all possible by anyone.

What happened in Paris was a combination of oniontaker and John, the first time that I had ever let the two world collide.

• Press conference and photo call access was attained by oniontaker and attended by John. Press pass also admitted me entrance into the restricted area where the executive box is located.
• To be fair, oniontaker would have sat in the restricted area but it was John that asked to be put into an area close to the executive box so that John could network. I wasn’t in the actual reserved seats, of course, just a nice cosy 2m away from the executives. Executive box – mosh pit – executive box – SONE section is misleading since access to the box means access to most of the publicly accessible areas of the venue.
• Meeting U-Kiss just happened by chance. I was the only Korean in the area so it stands to reason why a lot of stuff happened. A guy can get much closer to a male idol without much problem and a Korean can communicate with all the members and do the manager’s job of asking fangirls to back off.
  So if oniontaker was any other male Korean then it would have been the same. Otherwise, oniontaker would probably have just got an autograph and that would be the end of it.
• Backstage at Le Grand Journal was John. Though to be fair, John wouldn’t have been able to enter the building in the first place if it wasn’t for oniontaker being put on the audience list by @kourai32.
  And since I switched seats with @muchworld (who was on screen every time the host was on screen), oniontaker would have been on TV and within touching distance of SNSD as they performed.
• Late-night talk with KBS staff on Thursday night was a combination of John and oniontaker. I hinted at who my family were but I was just there as oniontaker, explaining things for them, being told things and overhearing conversations in return.
• Everything that happened in the hotel except Soshi was John. Talking to 2PM Chansung and BEAST Doojoon and all of this… getting into the hotel, not being kicked out, being able to talk to the managers relied entirely on me name-dropping acquaintances, showing business cards and talking about family friends.
• Speaking to Soshi though? Sunny waved me away when I approached, introducing myself as myself, before I could even say that I was oniontaker from soshified. It was only Tiffany who called me back as I walked awkwardly away and Taeyeon chipping in that I got to speak to them.
  John would have been a heartbroken fan, wondering what he did wrong. Just another kid who thought his family was enough to get him special treatment. Just another kid who thought he was a big deal for no reason. He would have thought all the other idols he’d spoken to were meaningless after being rejected by Soshi. I can’t tell you how sick I felt, walking away from them.
  But oniontaker stepped in because Tiffany knew him. Because Taeyeon knew him. In the end, the greatest end to the greatest week in my life would never have happened if it were not for oniontaker. If I hadn’t gained trust in the past, I would have just been left shattered by the girls… deemed not even worthy of being their fan.
  That’s why I’m so damned  grateful for them. They could have just let me walk away but they didn’t, and when I turned round and walked back over… when they saw my soshified wristband and asked if I was oniontaker… nothing in the world mattered any more.

So.

Now that I’ve gone through Music Bank Paris, and now that I’ve gone through who in my dual personality did what, you will find that John probably didn’t do as much as oniontaker. The most important moment of the entire trip would have been catastrophic if it weren’t for oniontaker, the blogger.

Can anyone get exactly what I got only by doing exactly what I do?
Probably not exactly, but pretty damned close.
Definitely all of the things before Music Bank Paris would have been possible, since Paris was the first time I used my real identity (infrequently at that). All it takes is for you to be a good talker and networker, but also willing to put in the work and sacrifice smaller benefits in search of a bigger goal.

Source: http://oniontaker.tumblr.com/post/17552606640/q-start-mr-onion-im-just-after-some-honesty-in#axzz1mH8pUsGq

***

Honestly, if I had the opportunity, there are many things in which I would want to learn and discover from him. I’ve rarely met someone like him in the 20 years I have lived. Getting to know him will be a stepping stone, but I don’t know if the opportunity will ever arise. It’s hard to judge a stranger through Twitter, and I understand if it takes more than a single tweet to him for me to express my honesty and intentions.

He may notice, he may never notice, but I don’t want to be seen as someone who is desperate and just want to get in touch with him all for the reason that he has strings to pull and contacts here and there. It is never my true intention. I just feel that he makes a great friend, a great teacher too, and someone whom I can learn a lot from, as John or Oniontaker.

All hail the table flipper.

“This too, will pass.”

Study as hard and smart as you can, push yourself as much as you need to, if you know what it will be worth in the future. Ignore the headaches and the temptation to close the books and do something else. Just do it, because all of these will pass one day, and because you went through it, you won’t look back with regret. At that very moment when it is over, the feeling that you have given all you got, will be the real gift in the end, as opposed to the feeling of regret for not doing your best. Give hurt, for those who understand will embrace it with you. Receive hurt, because it’s a way for people around you to let you know that they still care for you.

Live and let live.

It’s time.